Miss Havisham

Page 17

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 16:42:23 GMT

The lamp from my bedside table is attached to my right hand.

This is mildly inconvenient. I'm as good a shot with my left hand as with my right, so I will not be deterred from my usual constitutional.

Besides, I could always beat someone senseless with the lamp.

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 06:38:30 GMT

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 16:41:22 GMT

My veil is missing. So are the articles of clothing I was given three days ago.

I only want the veil back.

I'll be spending this day at the library; I will be doing some research on this place (and more importantly, on the deities).

I haven't heard a word from Heather in some time. ~~I do hope she's all right.~~ I will assume that she has found her way to another place until shown proof otherwise.

Page 14

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:05:05 GMT

I have spent a great deal of time within my flat these past few days, attending to the bullet hole someone saw fit to put through my right shoulder last Thursday. If I ever find out who shot me, I will find you and test out exactly how Eraserheads work in this city. This is your warning, whoever you may be. The wound is healing well, but up until this point, it was difficult to work this machine. ~~I was also having trouble scrubbing the blood out of the bodice of my gown and finally decided that it would look better if I left it there.~~

This has been a peculiar day. My rooms have been expanded; for example, I now have a wardrobe with several items of clothing within it. If anyone is interested in these, please say so and I will give them to you. I have all the clothing I need ~~namely, what I'm wearing now~~, and these only take up space.

The damage left by the rain and sea creatures is also gone, and I now have a television set. We have no television in Satis House, and in other books, there is only programming when the narration calls for it; I am somewhat curious to see what this television can do.

Page 13

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 11:52:47 GMT

Once again, the citizens of this city have proved themselves to be little more than their basest instincts. You all disgust me--throwing yourselves at near-strangers for relations? Destroying whatever you find in your path? Taking the Lord's name in vain?

Get a hold of yourselves.

I will be buying groceries today. I will not hesitate to make you see reason if you should happen to cross my path with your lechery and violence.

((OOC: Miss Havisham's desire to harangue happy couples, sexed-up people, people who swear, anyone who looks at her funny, etc, has come out in full(er) force today. Don't know if she'll be commenting too much on other journals--depends on how this day goes in the real world, lol--but feel free to say your character ran into her and got the lecture to end all lectures. In rare cases, she's also willing to box peoples' ears and cane them (especially if someone's talked back to her in addition to whatever 'crimes' s/he committed), but she's usually always bluffing when she threatens physical violence. :D))

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:52:21 GMT

Erik, we remain allies by necessity. Nothing more.

Is that understood?

Page 12

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 18:15:21 GMT

To the young man with the scars on his face: I believe I misjudged your character when we first spoke. Please accept my sincere apologies.

If you would like to come to apartment two of building three with your little friends, I will have tea and sweets set out for you.

To the various young women I've had the misfortune of speaking with since my arrival here: You are not welcome today, you cloying, vapid little girls.

Page 11

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 18:11:03 GMT

I have yet to experience any flooding, despite the fact that my flat is on the first floor of the building. I will not move (I dislike stairs more than I do a little water), even if the water does dare attempt to enter my home. It will have a difficult time doing so; I have barricaded the cracks under the doors to the best of my ability and will be waiting out the storm in my living room.

Anyone seeking shelter may knock upon the door of room two, building three. My door is always open--to those who know their manners. Alternatively, the uncouth with bargaining chips (particularly if said bargaining chip has four wheels and a good engine) will also be allowed in.

Page 10

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 13:16:30 GMT

Missing
Name: Thursday E. Next
Age: Somewhere in her mid-thirties.
Appearance: As shown above. Her face is rather plain, and she is also...currently in a delicate state.
Reward will be offered for her return to Building 3, Room 2

I miss Thursday. Despite her various inadequacies in bookjumping, tendancy towards vulgar language, and attempts to keep me from breaking land speed records, she is the best apprentice I have ever trained.

Speaking of land speed records, I need to go for a drive, but I have yet to find an automobile here. Any would be fine--I don't expect the Bluebird in a place like this--and I will gladly recompense anyone who finds me a vehicle in working order. I won't need it for long. Once around the square at high speed will be enough.

I would like you all to know that though I may be harsh in words, I do not dislike you as much as it might seem. Except for the men--I do hate all of you, but that's just a bitter prejudice on my part. We may be tentative allies, but we will not enter into friendship.

It's the curse forcing me to say all of this, isn't it.

Page 9

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 20:18:05 GMT

I must offer my...apologies to those I came in contact with yesterday. In particular, Sunny and the boy with the scars on his face. I had no intention of...doing any of the things I said. ~~I didn't understand most of what I said.~~

We will now move on and forget that July thirty-first existed.

((OOC: Not only does Miss Havisham hate to apologize, she's severely pissed at the fact that she was the City's bitch yesterday while other people seemed to have some control over themselves. She is in a worse mood than usual and will be in the library for the rest of the day, trying to see if there are any books that she might read herself into.))

Page 8

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 05:14:57 GMT

I have discovered--

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Feedin' the poor and hepin out wit they bills
Although I was born in Jamaica
Now I'm in the US makin' deals
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
I mean one that you don't really know
Ridin' around town in a drop-top Benz
Hittin' switches in my black six-fo'
Now gangsta-ass niggas come in all shapes and colors
Some got killed in the past
But this gangtsa here is a smart one
Started living for the lord and I'll last

But--

Backstroker lover always hidin' 'neath the covers
'Til I talked to your daddy, he say
He said you ain't seen nothin' 'til you're down on a muffin
Then you're sure to be a changin' your ways
I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder
Oh the times I could reminisce
'Cause the best things of lovin' with her sister and her cousin
Only started with a little kiss
Like this!

ohheavenhelpme--

((OOC: Miss Havisham will be making good use of my Copulatin' Blues CD as well as whatever other rude-sounding songs I can find. Please mock her--she desperately needs to be taken down a peg or ten. :D))

Page 7

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 00:06:58 GMT

Everywhere I go, a song plays. It speeds up when I walk more quickly and gets louder if I speak. I assume this is yet another curse.

I don't know what invisible instrument the melody is being played on--it's most comparable to a celestina, but even a celestina isn't quite this irritating.

Ah, well--steady on, old girl. This city holds delusions if it believes it can beat down Estella Havisham.

((OOC: Her theme song for the day is an 8-bit version of "I'm Only Happy When It Rains," and if my other computer was hooked up to the internet, I'd put it up for all of you. Since it's not, you'll just have to imagine it.))

Page 6

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 20:01:49 GMT

I awoke, on the floor, at midnight with a pain in my hips. In my desire not to fall to certain death attempting to climb down, I spent the entire day on my desk. Until I grew back to my usual size and promptly fell off, of course.

This city is extremely disagreeable. I will be staying in bed this afternoon, and may Heaven help he who disturbs me.

Heather? I require a pot of tea.

mkipiyrwsadgdedc cfr5

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:24:44 GMT

ssxvnmbcxsadgjllllllll.

((OOC: Miss Havisham is having trouble hitting all the letters at her size, so she's decided just to walk across the keys from one letter to the next. She meant to type "small."))

Page 4

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 20:34:06 GMT

As interesting as it was to be young again, I think I prefer my appearance as it is. ~~I don't remember blushing so easily when I was that age. On the other hand, I spent time with more cultured Generics.~~ I used the day looking around this place, and I think the gardens are quite nice, considering. I'll be going to the library soon, since my Farquitt boxed set is at Satis House.

The last time I attempted to gain any information from the others here, I was unsuccessful. I'm going to try again.

If you are reading this, please answer the following question: Are you fictional, or are you from the Outland (or, as Thursday referred to it once, the "real" world)? If you are fictional, from what novel do you come? If you are from the Outland, where and when did you live?

Post-Script

I should answer my own question. I am indeed fictional and reside in Great Expectations when I'm not on assignment for Jurisfiction or caught in a city full of vulgar people.

Page 3

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 05:23:50 GMT

...What in the name of the Great Panjandrum is going on?

I haven't looked this young since I graduated from St. Tabularasa's ~~when I thought I'd be playing the part of Estella in Dickens' new tale~~. That was...in early 1860? Since it's 1986 in the Outland...

I am one hundred twenty-six years younger than I was yesterday.

Page 2

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:01:21 GMT

This behaviour is inappropriate and disgusting.

I will be crossing the City for tea shortly, and should any man come near me, for any reason whatsoever, I will make sure his knees and my cane meet--and painfully.

You all have been duly warned.

((OOC: Miss Havisham will also be attempting to break up any couples kissing on the streets, so beware of her if you see her coming. ^_~ If they're doing worse than kissing and she sees them...well, God help those people.))

Page 1

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:04:38 GMT

I have inspected this device, and it appears to allow me to communicate with the other characters here. It seems to use similar technology as the Footnoterphone, except for the fact that I must type the words out rather than speak them.

I've been here four days, and in that time, I have seen neither hide nor hair of my apprentice. If there is anyone reading this, have you heard of a woman called Thursday Next? She is in her thirties, has mousy hair and rather plain looks. It is of the utmost importance that I find her, because while she is more capable than her bookjumping skills would have you believe, I would prefer not to leave her alone in this place.

I have several questions for any readers I may have:
1. What book have you come from (or are you Outlanders)?
2. Is this a book (I would guess an unpublished piece of dreck from the Well), and if so, what is its title?
3. What is that infernal ticking?
4. If this place is not a part of the BookWorld, where in the Outland are we?
5. If this place is not the Outland, what is it?

There is the possibility that I've been inadvertantly Boojummed, but for the fact that I highly doubt Thursday is quite that inept. If I have been Boojummed out of existence in the BookWorld, that would make this place the "anti-library beyond the imagination horizon" that Polonius conjectured about. And if that is the case, I could expect to see David Balfour and Ambrose Bierce here, among others.

Until I meet someone whose name has been inscribed on the Boojummorial (or until I'm reliably informed that we are in the Outland), I will assume that this is not the anti-library but a book of obviously uneven quality.

Whatever the case, I must take inventory. On my person, I have:

One TravelBook, containing
-One Martin-Bacon Mk VII Eject-O-Hat, Homburg style
-One Mk IV Text Marker
-One MV (Anti-Mispeling Vyrus) Mask with Lavina-Webster Dictionary attached

One mobile Footnoterphone, which doesn't appear to work in this book

One Derringer pistol, fully loaded
One extra box of Eraserheads

It would be possible for me to use my Eject-O-Hat to send me into The Middle of Next Week, but since the textual sieve placed upon this book has deterred my Footnoterphone calls, I would prefer not to find out how the Eject-O-Hat would react. I plan to save the Eject-O-Hat and Text Marker for only the direst emergencies.